I think Its time to shut it here.

NAIROBI- A CITY OF CONTRASTS

Having really lived in Nairobi for six months, I never thought I'd wake up one day and realize that there has been no day that has passed since I have come to live here that I have not seen something new, something different, something I've never seen before. And yet, It's true. The first day I saw a carpet of purple outside my window, where the jacaranda tree had shed these beautiful little gems of nature.

The day after that, I saw my reflection in a high-rise building, with the big city behind me. It was strange, it was different. I looked at myself and felt that I didn't really know this person staring back at me. And then I let go and continued running towards my destination. For this is what people in a busy city like Nairobi do. No one simply takes time to be themselves.

And then I saw horses in the park. I've never seen such glorious horses, with velvety noses and gentle eyes. And then I saw the military men on their backs. First illusion shattered.

And then I saw two cats balancing themselves on a wall, one black, one gray. Where was the white? I do not know.

And then I saw an old man selling sweets in the park. Was he the real thing? Was he one of those quintessential characters that a city like Nairobi needs to survive? Or was he simply one of the faceless ones, seen once, never to be seen again? I don't know.

And then I saw a woman who looked like my mother. Not exactly, but quite a lot like her. I smiled. She smiled back. Hmmm.

And then I sat on a swing in the park with a friend, and felt myself fly to the sky. And then I saw her fall.

And then I saw a bird with the purest of blue feathers knock on my window. It looked like he wanted to be invited in. Unfortunately, he flew off before I could.

And as I crossed the highway, I saw posh cars fly on the road, with the elite sitting inside, wearing silk ties and reading their morning papers.

And then I saw a homeless family of seven children, all with bottles of glue stuck to their noses, horribly distending the nostrils.

And that was where it struck me. I saw something new in Nairobi every day.

COLLEGE FRIENDS, TOGETHER FOREVER

Sometimes, in the deepest recesses of my heart,
I wonder,
Why I ever met these girls,
And these guys,
If I had to lose them all over again,
To the oceans that separate,
To the vast lands that tear apart,
To the immense gap that lies between
Like the sides of a pent,
Never to see each other
Just to wonder,
How it could have been
How it once was.

I THINK

Interesting week so far, I think. A mega-nice paycheck that's not coming through, a fall in the bathroom, a walk into a huge rain puddle, a hot coffee scald on my leg, and a black cat crossing my path. In that sequence. Which leads me to wonder: Do black cats reverse engineer the whole bad luck process? Or is that just a somewhat cheap shot at the endangered nature of my this-week-accident-prone body? Don't know, don't much care, either!

For these past few weeks, I've been talking to this guy who is so amazing (at philosophizing) that it quite makes my brain go around in circles. Had a huge discussion on the trueness of Islam and Christianity. I think I won that round. I think. Another huge row on history in circles. I don't really believe all that crap. That what happened once will happen again, and again, and again, in different periods and eras, to different folk, in different circumstances. One would think: When so much is different, even the event's gotta be different. Right? I think.

My sister is driving me crazy. She hangs up the phone. I hate people who hang up the phone before I'm ready to quit talking. I don't know: It makes me feel like what I'm saying is bullshit. Maybe it is: Sometimes. But even so: I listen to other people bullshit, right? So I should also have the right to do it. But perhaps not with my sister. Whom, by the way, I DO NOT hate. Just saying.

People Power: YAY!!! I heard this in my hostel lounge a few days ago. Since I wasn't doing anything constructive at that moment, I started thinking about it. What I've decided: People Power is a weird cliche that people use when they want to do a collectivist act, where no one gets the blame for something that goes drastically wrong, and everyone claims the victory, if vice versa. Bullshit. If you don't have the character or strength of your own individuality to deal with matters, don't create PEOPLE POWER. It's demeaning to the rest of us.

OK. Enough Bullshit. Perhaps I'll just erase some of these wild thoughts in my head. God knows, I need to do something constructive in this lifetime! I think.

IN SEACH OF RESOLUTIONS NEW AND LOVES TRUE

I've had a life well lived; a childhood in which I was loved, a heart which has been nurtured into blossom by two loving parents, a knowledge of the security of my future. It strikes me, as I read out my new resolutions, that I have taken for granted a lot of things. I've taken for granted my family, my home, my parents. I've taken for granted the fact that I'll always have a home, and someone who'll be happy to have me in their life. I've taken for granted the fact that I can have anything I want for breakfast, or for that matter, dinner. I've taken for granted the happiness that I experience in being alive. As a matter of fact, I've taken for granted the fact that I AM alive. To this extent, I've had to revise my New Year resolutions. I've done this so I can learn to enjoy the simple things in life.

1) To watch a sunset once a week.
2) To sit in Central Park and swing to the sky.
3) To talk to new people, make new friends.
4) To work in an NGO for children, or volunteer at an orphanage.
5) Tour Europe with friends.
6) Wake up each morning and remember that it's going to be a new day, and new days should come with new experiences, new things to do, new people to see and new ways to enjoy life.
7) Look for something extraordinary outside my window. Observe the changes in the Jacaranda tree and keep something for the little sparrows on my window ledge.
8) Live life, enjoy nature, give of myself, be the person I want to become.
9) Write a book on life, love, and everything else that really matters in my world.
10) Believe in myself.