Look at me, I stand here, and I weep

Forever etched on this stone lies a little bit of what I used to be. On this stone is a memory that is etched in my brain, as though with glass. It is this stone that is responsible for my foray into the land of the living. A person can never have too many memories, and yet I do. I have too many memories. Memories tied to this stone, memories that remain on this stone, even as it undergoes a daily drenching by this water of this ocean. They are memories of a life that once lived, that had a place in this world, a life that had yet to be fulfilled.

A life that was wiped out of existence long ago. A life that managed to take only the essence of true friendship away, and left everything else behind. On this stone, this rock on this beach are etched memories of two girls, who sat together and played snakes and ladders, holding the board firmly against the wind. On this stone, two small lives talked about the presence of ghosts, and spirits. On this stone, two spirits met and bonded and smiled and laughed. On this rock, two halves of one whole mixed blood, and carved a promise to stay together forever. To this spot, one little girl came for the last time, and solemnly promised to shelter forever those words carved in blood.

I stand next to it. The stone stands, much smaller than it was all those years ago. The sand has moved, the ocean encroaches upon the land. I search in the deepest nook of this rock for those initials signed in blood. N and R. Crooked, back to front. Letters she had painstakingly started carving, as she waited on me. Two days before she was gone, we signed them, rubbed our mixed blood on them. The letters remain, faint in the memory of two little girls who lived so very long ago. One exists, the other one went to the spirits. In death, she proved to me that spirits do exist.

That last time that I sat on this rock, I was seven. I’m twenty-three now. I sit on the rock. I wait and I wait. The tears are flowing. I don’t notice. Story of my life.

Comments

R!@ said…
:) ::big hug:: Story of my life indeed...
a really touching piece dear.. and by god you are gifted with words..
Rock on..
Stuffed Goofy! said…
Beyond words.
You'll go places, mark my words!:)

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